Curb Your Enthusiasm — Season 3 Episode 5
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S03E05
The Terrorist Attack
A rumored threat of a terrorist attack undermines a benefit performance by Alanis Morissette at the home of one of Larry's friends. Meanwhile, Larry can't help snubbing Mindy Reiser, wife of actor Paul Reiser, during a series of encounters at a restaurant and the perfume shop where she works.
Comedy
Episode
- The Pants Tent An innocent bunch-up in Larry's trousers gives rise to an embarrassing situation.
- Ted and Mary Larry and Cheryl's fun-filled bowling date with Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen ends with Larry's shoes missing.
- Porno Gil Larry sets off a bizarre chain of events (as he always seems to do) in which he is forced to attend a party at the home of a porno businessman.
- The Bracelet Larry is continually thwarted in his effort to buy a bracelet as a peacemaking gift for Cheryl.
- Interior Decorator Larry has some medical problems involving a certain bracelet. No biggy. Then larger problems arise when Larry finds out he shares the same interior decorator as Diane Keaton.
- The Wire Hoping to bury an unsightly telephone wire dangling over their yard, Larry and Cheryl befriend a pair of bizarre neighbors who must approve the burial. The husband is an incompetent lawyer but a big Seinfeld fan, so to appease him Larry arranges to have Julia Louis-Dreyfuss come for a visit. But when the actress arrives, the lawyer is missing; he's been hired to defend Jeff in a case involving a destructive kid Jeff sponsored for a Fresh Air Fund camp. At Larry's house, Julia ends up buying a bracelet from the lawyer's wife -- the same kind Larry wanted in episode 4 -- only to later accuse Larry of stealing it after he buys a similar one for Cheryl.
- AAMCO Jeff gets a new car, and when Larry takes it for a spin, a commercial comes on the radio for AAMCO, with a noise sounding much like a car horn from behind. Upon hearing this, Larry curses the man behind him, prompting the man to rear-end Jeff's brand new car. Also, Larry and Cheryl hold a dinner party.
- Beloved Aunt When Cheryl's aunt dies, Larry is left in charge of the obituary. But when the newspaper accidentally places ""beloved c*nt"" instead of beloved aunt, things take an expected turn for the worse.
- Affirmative Action Larry gets himself in trouble, when he makes a racist-like comment to Richard's friend. Also, Larry inadvertently loses Cheryl's prescription note.
- The Group Larry runs into his old girlfriend, and she asks him to escort her to an incest-survivors meeting. Cheryl is asked to co-star in ""The Vagina Monologues"" when one of the actresses is sick.
- The Car Salesman Larry David and his wife purchase a new oceanfront home owned by a television star's agent. Meanwhile, Larry shocks his wife and friends by deciding to take a job as a car salesman.
- Thor Jeff leaves his wife Susie, and worries that his private life will become public in court. Jeff's concern affects Larry, who becomes obsessed with showing Cheryl how normal he is. Meanwhile, Larry seeks revenge on pro wrestler Thor Olson, who he believes slashed his tire after an argument on the road.
- Trick or Treat Larry offends two uncostumed trick-or-treaters by not giving them candy, so they show him the "trick" side of Halloween. He also alienates Cheryl's screenwriter friend Cliff and a Jewish neighbor AND spoils his romantic anniversary gift when Jeff arrives to play a round of golf.
- The Shrimp Incident Larry is labeled a misogynist when he believes an HBO Network executive took some shrimp from of his meal, following a mistake in a delivery of Chinese food.
- The Thong Larry and Richard Lewis, who both see the same psychotherapist, plot ways of ending their respective relationships with the therapist after Larry sees the man wearing a thong bathing suit.
- The Acupuncturist Larry promises to pay an acupuncturist $5,000 if he can cure his neck. Meanwhile, a struggling writer asks Larry for a $5,000 loan which he promises to pay back after his father dies.
- The Doll At the screening of a miniseries, the young daughter of a TV executive asks Larry to cut the hair off a beloved doll. When he complies, she becomes very upset. To remedy the situation, Larry and Jeff steal the head from Jeff's daughter's doll.
- Shaq Larry is villainized for accidentally tripping Shaquille O'Neal at a Lakers game, but the incident ironically ends up bringing him good luck.
- The Baptism Larry can't believe that the Jewish man who is marrying Cheryl's sister is converting to Christianity. Richard Lewis accused Larry of stealing the outgoing message of his answering machine, and Larry accuses several passengers of stealing his airline tickets.
- The Massage Cheryl's psychic busts Larry for a naughty massage, and a restaurant owner busts Larry for stealing forks.
- Chet's Shirt While comforting a friend whose husband passed away, Larry and Cheryl comment on the husband's shirt. Larry then goes to the department store the next day to buy it. Meanwhile, Jeff talks Larry into investing in a trendy new celebrity restaurant. Larry also gets into trouble when he throws away some trash in a random garbage can.
- The Benadryl Brownie Thanks to Larry's miscommunication on his new cell phone, Richard Lewis' girlfriend succumbs to peanut allergies a week before they're supposed to go to the Emmy Awards. A practicing Christian Scientist, she doesn't take any medicine, so Richard and Larry devise a scheme to cook up some brownies laced with medicine. Like all things Larry does, the plan backfires.
- Club Soda and Salt Larry, Jeff, and Ted scramble to find a chef for the new restaurant, but Larry doesn't like Ted's recommendation. While trying to find a replacement, Larry learns a few things - Cheryl has a new, male, tennis playing friend, people won't take a wedding gift after a year, and that club soda and salt will get stains out of anything.
- The Nanny from Hell Larry, Cheryl, Jeff and Susie encounter a ""nanny from hell"" whose reign of terror is thwarted by ten sponge cakes. Larry commits a ""penis faux pas"" after a pool party, and Richard Lewis seeks immortality from Bartlett's Quotations.
- The Terrorist Attack A rumored threat of a terrorist attack undermines a benefit performance by Alanis Morissette at the home of one of Larry's friends. Meanwhile, Larry can't help snubbing Mindy Reiser, wife of actor Paul Reiser, during a series of encounters at a restaurant and the perfume shop where she works.
- The Special Section Larry's mother dies while he's shooting a film in New York City, but he doesn't find out until he returns to Los Angeles two days after the funeral. Once he's past the initial shock, Larry uses his loss as an excuse to avoid a number of unsavory invitations. Meanwhile, Richard Lewis accuses Larry of taking back his meditation mantra, and Larry plots to relocate his mother's body at the cemetery.
- The Corpse-Sniffing Dog Over a makeup dinner with the Braudys, Larry openly ponders the question, ""When a husband pays the check, do you have to also thank the wife?"" Meanwhile, Jeff's return home is ruined by his allergy to the family's corpse-sniffing German Shepherd—but his daughter Sammy refuses to give away the dog. Concerned about his agent's welfare, Larry figures out an ingenious way to give the pooch to the Braudys, who are looking for just such a dog.
- Krazee-Eyez Killa Larry is accused of betraying the confidences of Wanda's boyfriend, Crazy-Eyez Killa, a rapper he met at a party. Later, Larry alienates Jeff's wife Susie by declining her house-tour offer. He encounters further problems when he tries to replace a sports jacket Cheryl threw out.
- Mary, Joseph and Larry Larry proves himself an unskilled Christmas tipper, while both Larry and Jeff prove incompetent at creating believable alibis for the messes they get in. After offending his housekeeper, Larry makes amends with her at the expense of his wife. Later, Larry attempts to reconcile with Cheryl's family after ruining their nativity scene.
- The Grand Opening Larry figures out a way to fire a chef, and alienate an important restaurant critic, in the days before his new restaurant is scheduled to open. As Susie stews over a misunderstanding with Larry and Cheryl, the Davids spend some quality time at the car wash. With its grand opening at hand, the restaurant owners hire a new chef with a penchant for speaking his mind.
- Mel's Offer After going to a Karaoke bar that Mel Brooks is performing at, Mel is so impressed with Larry's singing that he asks Larry to be the star of his broadway show.
- Ben's Birthday Party Ben Stiller gets upset when Larry refuses to sing "Happy Birthday" to him. Larry then hits him in the eye with a toothpick.
- The Blind Date Larry sets up his blind friend on a date with a muslim woman.
- The Weatherman Larry David has a huge problem with name tags. In the process Larry reveals a bathroom preference that disgusts Jeff. Ted Danson makes another great cameo.
- The 5 Wood A bag of cashews and rasins threatens Larry's working relationship with David Schwimmer; a dirty locker and a golf club threatens his club membership; Larry gets into a compromising situation with a dog.
- The Car Pool Lane To get to a Dodgers game, Larry finds a creative way to use the HOV lane. Then, he finds himself in a bit of trouble when he gets his father medicinal marijuana.
- The Surrogate Larry decides to buy a surrogate mother a gift, but it backfires. He tries (and fails) to pass a routine physical and uses it as an advantage.
- Wandering Bear The purschasing of a video endangers Larry's relationship with his secretary, Antoinette, and almost kills Jeff and Susie's best friend. Cheryl gets medical advice from an unorthodox source.
- The Survivor Larry and Cheryl prepare to renew their wedding vows; Larry mulls an offer from his dry cleaner.
- Opening Night The show travels to New York City as Larry prepares to open on Broadway in "The Producers".